We stopped for a moment after church yesterday to catch up. I’ve known Jessie for years and watched her grow up from a distance at the church I once worked at. But what really solidified our friendship is that we became small business owners together. We both have a love for writing, coaching women to be who God created them to be, and to live intentionally.

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We also both love using the Enneagram and maybe we get along because we belong to the pragmatic triad together (3, 6, & 9). As we chatted about setting up signs at our church, the conversation meandered to our businesses, social media, and our mutual love for writing. We had both not been as intentional as we would have liked which reminded me of several conversations I’ve been having lately around growing through the Enneagram.

Whether you want to grow in your writing or grow in your relationships or even in your emotional intelligence, there’s several approaches we can take to get there. To be honest, for most of my life, I’ve taken the road of developing an action plan and executing my goals.

BUT….there’s a problem. Sometimes what needs to change and grow is on the inside. And the more I’ve worked with the Enneagram, the more I realize that growth is not a 3 step process. Can you change your outward behaviors with an action plan? Yes. Can you be transformed from the inside out? A bigger yes.

You see, what I’ve discovered in working with the Enneagram applies to all of life. Growth is more about a regular practice and less about a to-do list. Growth comes from remembering who God made you to be and putting regular rhythms into practice to live out who He made you to be. If this is as clear as mud, stay with me.

Remembering

If we’re honest with ourselves, growth starts with remembering. Remembering who God made us to be. Remembering who God says we are. Remembering who we were before the world told us we shouldn’t be that way. In the world of the Enneagram, I’ve been reading a couple of thoughts lately and this idea points to an Enneagram theory called the Holy Ideas. Each type has a Holy Idea - who you were before you started using the coping mechanisms of your type.

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The Holy Ideas are particular ways of being that naturally arise when a person is present and awake to life. We express the holy ideas through our type when we are grounded and living out our identity in Christ. Where we get off course? When we try to find out own way of proving our holy idea. For instance, an Enneagram type 3 (also called the Achiever) - they can move away from their holy idea by trying to get all the things done to prove they have value. BUT…by remembering their holy idea - HOLY HOPE - means remembering they have value for who they are and not what they do. Hoping you get the picture.

The reality is that we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, change our outward behaviors, and embrace change. But true transformation — the kind that comes from the inside first — starts with remembering who God says we are. It starts with remembering who God made us to be. It starts with remembering that we don’t need to prove our value because God already did.

Practicing

I get a lot of questions about how to grow using the Enneagram. As human beings, we’re fascinated (well a lot of us are) by personality. So, we love narrowing down our dominant Enneagram type and learning a little more. But in that journey, all of us hit a wall. And that’s when people ask me? Sometimes it’s in a coaching session, but more often than not, it’s in a passing conversation. Now that I know my type, now what?

Depending on your type, you may be looking for a to-do list to grow. A virtual check off list so that if you do this, then you’ll see change. As an Enneagram type 3, I hear ya sister. I really just want to check it off and say I’m done. But the more I work with the Enneagram in coaching, the more I’ve realized one thing. Growing using the tool of the Enneagram + our faith comes down to this one thing. It takes practice. Practicing the things that are challenging for our type. Practicing the things that will connect us to our living God. Practicing the things that may not come naturally so that we can become who God always meant for us to be.

Which gets me back to my conversation with Jessie. We both want to write more. And…we both realize that a regular practice of writing will help us fall in love with writing again. We both realize that a regular practice of writing will help us get better at writing. We both realize that to grow as writers, we need to intentionally write regularly.

And whether you want to write more or even more importantly - become who God wants you to be — it takes intentionally scheduled practices like reading your Bible, praying, journaling — basically spending time with God so he can change you from the inside out.

Growing takes time. It’s a journey, not a destination. And the way we can be transformed from the inside out is one part remembering and two parts practice. What can you start remembering and practicing this week?

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