How to love each Enneagram type on Valentine's Day
Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, which got me thinking about you and what your thoughts are on celebrating. For some, Valentine’s Day feels like a Hallmark holiday and may choose to avoid celebrating all together. For others, we love celebrating love — even when we’re single. Personally, bring on the chocolates, flowers, and red hearts…just this once.
The best gift we can give our people on Valentine’s Day
True confession. While I love all that stuff and being festive, all the chocolate and nice dinners in the world don’t always show love. Sometimes it feels like more stuff and a way to derail my diet.
So I will tell you this, the best gift we can give on Valentine’s Day is to seek to know our most special people and love with compassion. There are a lot of ways we can do this, but one way is to use the Enneagram to know our spouse, our kids, and our special friends in a way where they feel known and seen.
So with that in mind, here’s some likes and loves for each Enneagram type…
Type 1 - The Reformer
Our type 1 friends are motivated by improving all the things — starting with themselves, and then moving out to their people, and then the world. They are in the details and therefore they like…
Structure
Honesty
Doing the right thing
Responsibility
Knowing that they are good
Type 2 - The Helper
Our type 2 friends have a naturally ability to sense what others are feeling & when there is a need. They respond by jumping into help. People are their focus and they like and love…
Kindness
Warmth in relationships
Being loved for who they are
Giving advice
Feeling important to people
Type 3 - The Achiever
Our type 3 friend focus on goals, getting things done, and efficiency. All of which results in what they like and love…
Setting & accomplishing goals
Doing what their good at
Getting results
Being valued
Type 4 - The Individualist
Our type 4 friends have a natural ability to see beauty & meaning in all things and value being authentic especially when it comes to feelings. They like and love…
Authentic connection with their people
Inspiration
Creativity
Seeing beauty around them
Being seen and belonging for who they really are
Type 5 - The Investigator
Our type 5 friends value wisdom and insight, discovering how things work, and their own independence. Because of this, they value…
Knowing their needs are not a problem
Their own private space
Time to themselves
Understanding and learning how things work
Insight & wisdom
Type 6 - The Loyalist
Our type 6 friends seek to feel safe, secure, and supported. And…they offer the same for their most important people which means they love…
Supporting others
Being prepared
Knowing they are safe
Certainty
Thinking through things fully
People who do what they say they will do
Type 7 - The Enthusiast
Our type 7 friend love all things fun, adventure, and people. They love…
New ideas
Freedom
All options open — infinite possibilities
People
Knowing they will be taken care of
Type 8 - The Challenger
Our type 8 friend are focused on strength, taking action, and standing up for justice. Because of all this, they love…
Taking action
Justice
Standing up for the underdog
Genuine & truthful people
Direct communication
Type 9 - The Peacemaker
Our type 9 friends are naturally drawn to peace and accepting everyone. They value…
Good listeners
Comfort
Routine
When everyone feels heard
Knowing that their presence matters
So what do we do with this information? We seek to learn about our people. We seek to understand why they do what they do. We choose compassion in our relationships. And in doing all that, we reflect Jesus and provide a safe place for our people to be seen and known. Which, in my opinion, is the best gift you can give at Valentine’s Day and all year long.
Still trying to figure out your type?
If you’re still not sure which Enneagram type you identify with, you’re not alone. Identifying your type can take some time — mostly because it’s a journey to learning about you! I always like to say…it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Take your time. Observe yourself. And if you’re wanting a little help, I offer an Enneagram Typing session to help you narrow it down.
