How to Thrive at Christmas For Each Enneagram Type

I remember the year that Advent changed for me. I had experienced meaningful Advents before this, but I had never really thought deeply of the meaning behind it. But a few Decembers ago, I tuned into a podcast that was interviewing two of my faves - Annie F. Downs and Ellie Holcomb. The two women talked about something we don’t always hear about at Advent. Waiting.

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That year, I found comfort in the fact that the first Advent was about waiting. Waiting for the promise to be fulfilled. Waiting to hear God’s voice. Waiting for God to intervene in the form of a baby.

If we’re honest with ourselves, our Advent experiences are not much different. We, too, are waiting for our hopes and expectations in life to be fulfilled. We, too, long to hear God’s voice in the everyday rhythms of our lives. We, too, long for God to intervene in our circumstances.

That Advent, I knew I wanted to make Christmas more meaningful. But year after year, hustle prevailed. Running here. Buying presents there. And before I knew it my expectations and time got the best of me and Christmas was over before it ever really began in my heart.

This year has been different. I ordered 90% of my gifts online. I choose to pick up a Christmas devotional. I’ve let my business slow in the natural rhythms of people’s schedules. And I’ve been reading along with She Reads Truth in their Advent series which has made all the difference.

Celebrating Christmas with Meaning

As you and I head into next week and celebrating Christmas with our friends and family, I want to acknowledge something. Christmas can be hard. It can be hard because this last year we lost someone and Christmas feels different this year. It can be hard because we don’t always get along with the people God placed us with. Christmas can be hard because it feels lonely year after year. Christmas can be hard because we have high expectations that sometimes aren’t met.

But here’s what I believe. No matter what you’re facing this Christmas, you and I can thrive and find meaning during Christmas. And the Enneagram - leaning into the self-awareness that comes with knowing your type - can help you navigate expectations and disappointments and accepting what you experience as beautiful.

You see, some types are driven to do more and accomplish more and not slow down. While other types have a tendency to withdraw and while they’re slowing down they may not be connecting. This quick list may help you show up with heart and meaning this Christmas. And if you don’t know your type, maybe some of the ideas for all the types will resonate with choosing to thrive at Christmas for you.

Type 1 - The Reformer

Type 1s are conscientious, orderly, appropriate, and ethical. They see the way things should be and want to correct it. These strengths can be overdone when they keep improving until it’s perfect and can become judgmental of themselves and others.

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Enneagram Type 2 - The Helper

Type 2s are thoughtful, generous, demonstrative, and people-pleasing. They love to help but are driven by the idea that they are only loved when they are helping others. At their best, they are supportive, compassionate, nurturing, and openhearted. When their strength is overdone, they can over help without being asked and ignore their own needs.

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Type 3 - The Achiever

Our type 3 friends are efficient, accomplished, motivating, driven, and image-conscious. Their core motivation stems from believing they find value in accomplishing things and being respected. At their best, they are productive, hardworking, goal-oriented, and motivating. When their strengths are overdone, it can lead them to constant working and producing, and believing they need to be the best.

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Type 4 - The Individualist

Type 4s are authentic, creative, expressive, deep, and temperamental. They are great at expressing and experiencing their feelings and walking with the rest of us through sadness and grief. They are driven by the idea that they find love and value by being special and unique. At their best, they are authentic, sensitive, intuitive, and sincere. Their strength overdone leads them to withdraw and experience more melancholy.

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Type 5 - The Investigator

Our type 5 friends are perceptive, insightful, intelligent, and can be detached. Type 5s long to comprehend the deeper realities of life and value wisdom and being the expert. They tend to feel they may run out of things and work to conserve these things like energy for their day, interacting with people, finances, and more. At their best, they are curious, rational, objective, and thorough. At their worst, they can become distant, private, and self-reliant.

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Type 6 - The Loyalist

Our type 6 friends are committed, responsible, faithful, and can tend toward being anxious. Their core motivation is to have security and guidance and can tend to think about what could go wrong and how to be prepared for when that happens. At their best, they are trustworthy, supportive, practical, and great problem solvers. When they are not doing so well, they will be cautious, suspicious, indecisive, and dependent.

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Type 7 - The Enthusiast

Our type 7 friends are playful, excitable, versatile, and focused on all the fun. They are driven to keep all their options open and continually moving on to the next exciting experience or thing. Their core fear drives them to avoid negative feelings by doing new and exciting things, people, and experiences. At their best, they are optimistic, imaginative, engaging, and bring the party. When they are not doing well. they become distracted, inconsistent, and long for an escape.

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Type 8 - The Challenger

Our type 8 friends are assertive, self-confident, intense, and big-hearted. They are driven to protect themselves from being controlled and standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves. At their best, they are inspiring, assertive, resilient, and empowering. When not doing as well, they can be forceful, intimidating, intense, and excessive.

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Type 9 - The Peacemaker

Our type 9 friends are thoughtful, reassuring, receptive, and accommodating. In their efforts to maintain peace and harmony in their relationships, they can fall asleep to their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. At their best, they are easygoing, diplomatic, patient, and accepting. At their worst, they are indifferent, indecisive, detached, and appeasing.

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The reality is that whether you know your Enneagram type or not, you and I can choose to be intentional as we show up for Christmas with our people. We can choose to slow down and be present. We can choose to be aware of what might trigger us. We can choose to let go of our list of expectations and find joy in each moment. One foot Christmas looks like letting go of the things we should do or feel driven to do and allow God to meet us in the middle of celebrating with our people.